"Meliora Cogito"

(I strive for the best)
I was thinking about the itinerary I am planning for Vici when I started this blog.... I want it to be the best ever.... But I wonder if it is a theme that I should investigate more...

Interestingly enough it seems to be a failing that I have...not that one would necessarily think that to look at the generalised 'chaos' that I seem to live in at times ... even my doctor commented to me this week that it all seems to happen to me....

One of the first times I was ever asked to write a book was in response to some of the seemingly insurmountable odds that I was trying to contend with after Lachie was born. I was not going to be one of those mums that didn't recognise or ask for help when I needed it...I don't know if there is help out there now for cases like ours but the inability of any of the service providers to help me was what that prompted the comment. It was a genuine interest and desire to know how this story would end..

The final page of this saga has yet to be written. There were a few years before and after his birth in which writing was the only thing that was keeping any degree of sanity in my life...along with the my magic 'yippee' pills...
Yay for pharmaceuticals... and champagne...I know..I know...one shouldn't mix but at times you just gotta do what you gotta do...

The deeper the mire that I plunged into the more I flailed ...the more I thrashed around the bigger the mess....It is hard to acknowledge that the turmoil is what creates the clutter...it is but a reflection of the inner turmoil and distress. I certainly can't say that this is how I WANT to live but all I can say is that it is but a phase.

I have finally reached an age and a stage of my life where I have the time to sort through some of my demons and finally start slaying some of these dragons. This is not an easy thing to do. It creates a lot of mess. Then I find it hard to deal with the other 'visible' mess....I end up initially making even more mess before I am able to start clearing my way through the detritus...and that is what I am doing now...

But I am very lucky....I have some wonderful friends who care for me and have volunteered their time to help me work through it... it is a very daunting task.
Quite overwhelming in fact...
Gail has plans to come down fortnightly and help motivate me and Tracey has made my dining room her project....
One thing I really wanted to do on my birthday was sit in the lounge in front of the open fire and drink champagne. You cannot get into our dining room.
It didn't happen!!
I really should take a photo of what has happened to the dining so that those who have never seen it can understand what has happened...

When mum first came to live with us I had to quickly clear out all the stuff in the spare bedroom...yes... into the dining room it went. Wasn't a problem... we were still able to use the room but over the years as I got busier the amount of clutter in there grew. When I needed a table top or a bit of bench space I would just sweep it all into a box and deposit it in the Dining Room to be sorted at my convenience.

First - couple my hording tendency, [we all know that the minute I throw it out I will find a use for it], with this technique for tidying away the clutter of day to day life. Next you add that to my mania for poring through recipes and ripping them out of the paper, magazines etc.
Now you can imagine what an accumulation I have.

When we were sorting through mums effects we went through boxes of my mothers recipe clippings...see...it is hereditary!! LOL
Yep...I even smuggled some of mums back to Melbourne with me...only one shopping bag full...I am really curious to see what sort of things she cut out...

Over the last 5-6 years 'The Boxes' have been in there procreating like the proverbial rabbit... It is a quite a mind boggling site!! Not quite up to the light fitting but it must be close!

Believe it or not I emptied 4 boxes the other day. Hallelujah!!
I am going to have to draw a halt to this frenzied activity before the winter is upon us a make the most of the remnants of the autumn days to try and create order in my messy garden. It has also suffered the same neglect. And then there is myself...boy .... I think it it might be easier to tackle climate change than this agenda!!

Must add it to tomorrows list...
Ordering the installation of solar panels that is...not solving climate change...
Then I will be free to get back to planning my holiday with Vici...joy oh joy...

This blog should have been titled "Sine labore nihil"

Die dulci fruere. ♥